The Lament of the figment of a friend...

Oh, halfway and half-hearted are thee, my friend.
Ears clap closed as soon as I might have needed you,
Crying muted through my teeth,
You shunned all the hope I could keep.
When I learned how to love,
You broke, and you tore, and you ripped away at any joy
I could feel...
Till I fell,
To the floor of the dreams I had stored....
Waiting to share them with a friend,
Only to find a bitter heart refusing to mend,
And so I reveled, cried, and learned on my own.

And NOW you say you want to share...
Over your stale coffeehouse stare,
With your unlistening ears.
All I serve is to hear your empty joy,
To cheer and to support all the same things I was dying to tell.
Do I play the dutiful friend,
To bend to your needs and tend to your heart?
Or do I freeze and push away...
Because I question whether you ever cared at all.
It's overwhelming to find...
That I've only just realized;
I can't remember when I ever had a friend.

It's amazing to me how transparent people can be with their false concern. I've never really had many friends...growing up...when I was in high school or college...because all I thought was real of friendship, spit in my face...I guess I'm partly to blame, because I close off too soon, as soon as I've been hurt. Oh well...off to bed for me after the 7th day in a row of working...with a lot of drama between coworkers and a few new employees they have been trying to put through orientation, and a sad night last night to end on. The baby that I am the primary nurse for is getting sick...my gut tells me she's not going to do well today. Oh...and to add to my morning:

I'm an aunt!

So, goodnight and good day...I hope it rains...rainy days are my favorite days to sleep on!